Sweet Fern Mitt Fate

So I'm not sure what to do with these Sweet Fern Mitts I'm working on.



I'm not a knitting perfectionist. Life is too short and there are too many things I want to knit to worry about minor mistakes no one but myself is going to notice.

Then there are mistakes that are more noticeable. For instance, on that first mitt I wasn't very careful about counting what round I was on and several of the lower cables are probably 5 round repeats rather than 4. I was willing to let that go. But now I can't figure out how I came up with so few cables on the top part (once I started the thumb gusset) and it is going to be noticeable that the left mitt has more cables than the right mitt. I could just re-do the top of the right mitt. I could frog them both.

The cables are actually the wrong way too. I have a first edition of the book and there is a bunch or errata on this pattern. I found something I knew couldn't be right and looked it up, only to find that the chart has the cables crossed the wrong way. I kind of thought "who cares" because I liked the way it looked anyway, but now with the other mistakes I'm about to rip it all out.

I like the yarn with this pattern, I have sunk a bit of time into these, but honestly I'm not sure how much use I'm going to get out of these fingerless mitts. I have a couple pairs of Fetchings and another pair of fingerless mitts, they are good for fall and early spring, but I am thinking I might just convert these into mittens with the cables going to right way. I'm just not sure I'm ready to actually rip yet. I guess I'll just work on the second sock of the pair for my mom this weekend.

Interweave Knits Fall 2010

I got my new issue of Interweave in the mail yesterday.  I did a quick browse of it while E was playing on the floor, but I have to be careful else he tries to grab magazines and eat them.  Actually substitute and noun for "magazines" and you probably have an accurate sentence.  Such is life with an 8-month old.

My overall impression was good.  I saw a lot more that I liked this time than I have for a long time.  I'm sure my renewed love of knitting helps, and of course any Fall publication always has the best patterns in my opinion.  O actually saw sweaters I wanted to knit!  I haven't wanted to knit sweaters for a very long time.  I probably won't actually knit them because really, when do I have time for a project of that scale? Also, I should probably finish Mark's poor languishing sweater before starting any other sweaters.

I did see some hat patterns I liked and probably will knit.  Mark got me a gift certificate to Wool & Company for my birthday and I still need to use it.  It isn't quite the same ordering on-line as it is going to the store, but he knew I missed it and I thought it was a very sweet present.

A few weeks ago I posted a link to an article that was linked on another site I read. I probably should have given some commentary on it, but I was so disgusted by the article I couldn't stand to. Honestly I was more disgusted as a feminist than as a breastfeeding mother. The primary thing that angered me was the author's insistence that a woman's body is primarily for her husband's sexual gratification. Our bodies are not single use, single purpose. I'm not degrading my breasts by using them to feed my baby. I can use my body to nourish my children and to love my husband. He witnessed the birth of our son and hasn't had any "problems." Just sayin'

This leads me down another path, one that I've been wanting to go down for awhile but I'm not entirely sure how.

So, breastfeeding. My son was exclusively breastfed (in that he had only breastmilk, he did have EBM from bottles) for the first 5 1/2 months. I am nursing now. I intend to nurse until he is a year old, and then we'll see what happens from there.

I have such mixed feelings about it though.

On one hand, I am very supportive of it. I do think there are a TON of benefits for both baby and mother. I've enjoyed the closeness I feel to E and the way I've been able to nourish and comfort him through it. If anyone I know said they intended to breastfeed I would be very encouraging of it.

On the other hand, I have a big complaint. I think the way women who don't breastfeed or even those who do but wean early or whatever are treated can be downright shitty. There is a certain attitude among some pro-breastfeeding women/groups that if you have any problems it is because UR DOING IT RONG!

As someone who wanted very very badly to have a successful nursing relationship with my baby I have to say that when I encounter that attitude it really hurts. Yeah this is about me and my expectations and the fact that sometimes I get these really lofty ideas and try to strive for perfection and when I don't meet those goals I feel a lot of disappointment and beat myself up about. There is that, I admit it. I'm not sure I'm that unique in that though, and this sort of thing can't have happened only to me.

It is the tone some books and website are written in. As great a resource as Kellymom.com is, every time a well-meaning person directed me to the page about slow weight gain that says it is usually due to poor breastfeeding management I wanted to cry and scream and throw things. I had been through that list twenty times and I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing.

It is reading forums where someone pipes in about how formula is completely junk or practically poison and ewww how could you ever give that to your baby? Well I'll tell you. You will give that to your baby when for the last 2 months his weight gain has averaged about 1.5-2 oz./week instead of the 4 oz./week it is supposed to and you've tried everything short of standing on your head (although I tried something similar once when I had a plugged duct) to increase your supply and it isn't making a difference. (Seriously, I will detail the whole story on this at some point.)

I guess I needed to get that out. As much as I still stand by my choice the attitudes of some people are seriously pissing me off. I imagine it is the same as other women feel about having a c-section. That whole thing that "well, ok, some women have problems, but it is rare" disclaimer, then disparage women who don't do what you think they should do and never mention those exceptions again. (Which, for the record since I had a natural birth at home I feel self-conscious about this and will say I think whatever birth choice a woman makes for herself and her situation is fine. I just hate to see women not being given options and pushed into something they don't want for silly reasons and I feel like I hear that a lot. But it makes me sad that the women were pushed around, I don't think there is anything wrong with them as mothers or as people. If an informed choice is made that is great. But if we are going to talk about birth that is a topic for another day.)

As I have spent the last 45 minutes basically trying to get my son to go to sleep and stay asleep, my mind has wandered and I've been thinking about this blog.

To keep it or let it go? To post about just knitting or more?

Awhile back I said I didn't intend to turn this into a "mommy blog." I still don't, yet it seems that is what I have to write about most of the time. I guess it comes down to the old saying that to write well you have to write what you know. Right now a lot of what is on my mind tends to be baby related.

I think my passion for knitting is returning, and I am optimistic that I will have a pretty scarf to share soon. There just isn't much to write about there though. "I'm knitting a scarf from alpaca I bought at the Fiber Show. It is soft, it is pretty. I like knitting. " See what I mean?

What I really want to do is just write and not worry about what category it fits into. With that said...

This is not a knitting blog.

This is not a mommy blog.

This is not a cooking blog.

This is just my blog and I'm going to write whatever I feel like writing about. So there.

For the last month or so I was filling my writing needs in other places. I had to get my mind somewhere else when I was pumping at work besides just worrying about how I never get as much as I think I should or feeling sad about certain things. Since the dates this June and July are the same days of the week as they were in 2004 when Mark and I started dating I decided that I would take my reminiscing a write our story. I think I am done with that now so lets see what I have to put out here now.

What is making my head explode today

I have never read such utter bullshit in my life. That is saying a lot, because I've read some threads in Remnants and BID

Today's Random Thoughts

I really don't care if LeBron James stays in Cleveland or not, but I can't wait until he just makes his decision because I am sick to death about seeing articles in the paper about it and receiving phone calls inviting us to "Akron loves LeBron" rallies. I have never cared about the Cavaliers and I am not going to start.

July is really here isn't it? We have are getting a string of days with highs in the 90's. We didn't really get heat like this last year, which was good being that I was pregnant and already hot all the time. It is already 73 degrees out at 8;45 a.m. I think if I want to take a walk today we better take it soon.

I'm really excited about my menu today. With inlaws visiting yesterday I didn't do any cooking since they always want to go out. We are having burgers for lunch and I'm trying my hand at some pulled pork for supper. Plus, it is time to break out the ice cream maker. I think mint chocolate chip might be the flavor of the day.