Avoidance

I've been avoiding the blog.

The thing is, I don't know how to approach difficult subject matter. You know, like death.
Everything else I write seems trivial and I know I'm avoiding something, but I don't feel like I can really talk about it either.

So what is new other than that?

The Indians got rid of the Yankees. This has made me happy and nervous and basically all those emotions you feel when you really want something to happen so much but are so afraid that if you let yourself care too much you are just setting yourself up for a huge heartbreak, but then you realize that despite all your precautions you are already in too deep. (I spent all season monitoring but trying not to get too excited.) For the past week whenever they played I was pretty much glued to the TV crossing my fingers (that isn't literally true, knitting would have been difficult if it was). Well, except Sunday night when I got really mad and had to turn the TV off. Up next are the Red Sox. See, like most non-New Yorkers I hate the Yankees. I cringe every year they make it to the playoffs (are there years they don't?) and boycott the World Series if they are in it. That is normal for a lot of people though. More than the Yankees I really hate the Red Sox. This gets personal. It may have been how they took a whole bunch of Indians players, it certainly is the arrogance of the fans, it is definitely my ex-boyfriend from Massachusetts. Anyway, I'm fearing this next series. I'm too afraid to think they'll really make it, but the thought of the Red Sox ending their season is just too upsetting to even think about.

I am also really mad about work things again today. By the time I sit down and write blog entries I've usually pushed it to the back of my mind again, and that has happened again today. It is probably for the best. For the record, I'm unhappy with office politic things.

Mark's sock is coming along nicely. I turned the heel last night. One of these days I will actually take a picture of it and post it here and add it to Ravelry.

I also started listening to the album Omnibus by Tarkio. This was Colin Meloy's band before The Decemberists. I actually was not very familiar with them either, I got hooked in by the song "Tristan and Iseult" on the CraftLit podcast. Do you guys know about Craftlit? I've been listening to the podcast since the beginning, for the lit content more than the knit content really (not that I object to that, but really, I crave the literature and really the smart social/political discussion that sometimes occurs too). It always makes me remember how much I miss literature, but it keeps me inspired too. Anyhow, it was a great song, and now that I've listened more I really have to recommend "Candle," "Sister Nebraska," and "This Rollercoaster Ride" too. Why don't you listen and if you like the sound, just buy the album on iTunes. It is a steal really, $11.99 for 27 songs.

Anyhow, speaking of social/political issues, I think this falls under that category. La Petite Tricoteuse told us about this at SNB last night and I find it really disturbing. If you cannot be bothered to click on the article I linked to, then I will just tell you that you should probably buy only organic strawberries, tomatoes, and peppers from now on. If you actually want to know why then you should go read the article and maybe do some of your own research. On a related note, here is a list of produce and their pesticide levels.

So I've avoided it this long. Here is the thing. Mark's Uncle Tony died on Saturday. This was very sudden (he was supposed to be getting married last Saturday) and so this is very sad and very hard on Mark's family. For me, I feel terrible even though I've been told not to because I cannot accompany Mark home for calling hours and the funeral. I feel like I should be by his side for this, and I can't really be, because I cannot get off work. Funeral pay does not apply for spouse's family (except immediate in-laws) and my only vacations days left after the wedding are saved for Thanksgiving and Christmas, because if I don't have those days, I don't get to go home. It is all just so awful. See? I just can't talk about this, so I'm going to stop.